Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
