Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
