Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
