brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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