So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
