i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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