benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
