Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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