I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
