your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
