Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
