like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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