She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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