so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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