he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
