I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
