im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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