my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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