We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
