Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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