he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
