making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
