why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
