so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
whose parrot is this?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
