Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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