I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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