i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
