UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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