he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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