omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
barbara walters just said penis...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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