You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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