If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
