Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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