Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Enjoy the penises
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
