The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
