i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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