I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
