I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
