"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You just made me feel so damn special
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
