I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
