had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
