Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
