I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
