Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my phone needs a breathalizer
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
