i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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