So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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