I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
