you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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