Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
