that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
