i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
home. puking in laundry basket.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
